Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Great Collard Catastrophe!

My first mistake was getting cocky with collards from my first box of veggies and assuming I could cook something tasty without a recipe. I admit my mistake. Mia culpa!

Tonight's Menu:

Turkey Burgers
roasted root veggies (potatoes, sweet potatoes, beets, onions)
cooked collards
sliced cucumbers (for me, only)

The burgers and root veggies were very yummy and universally appreciated! The collards, while washed well and grit-free, were tough and not tasty! I thought I recalled (ahhhhh, therein lies the mistake -- "I recalled") collards could be cooked well with olive oil, garlic, and chicken broth. I did this for about an hour. I thought that would be plenty 'o time. Alas, it was not to be. The road to wasted veggies is paved with "I thought" and "I recalled" and.... no recipe.

I actually spit out my first bite of collards because they were so tough! Then, not thinking clearly because of the disappoint of spending so much time cooking the crummy collards, I asked the DS to try them! The DH laughed and said, "really?" Then I realized how dumb that normal parental request was (we have a rule that the DS has to try one bite of everything). I let him off the hook since even I had deemed them inedible!

I still was not able to compost the cooked collards, so I bagged them and put them in the fridge. Beth, my partner in veggie-dom, walked down with her family after dinner and I told her my collard chronicle. She suggested "throwing them in a pot" with some cheese tortellini and other things and making a soup. "I do it with spinach all the time, " she said!
Spoken like a true natural cook.

"Just throw some things in a pot!' Another friend, and natural cook, Anne Marie often says the same thing. I don't really know WHAT to throw in that pot, though. Another fear is that I'll ruin a perfectly good package of cheese tortellini by putting it in a pot of crappy collards!

Do I try to reconstitute the cooked collards? Do I compost the crude crinkled collards? Or, do I admit the collards have conquered me and ask Beth to take all the rest of the collards from the boxes of veggies in exchange for some nice simple broccoli?

Oh the conundrum!


  1. Well cheese tortellini does make everything better. I have never had collards but my grandmother use to cook them and they smelled terrible. But maybe with enough spices and other stuff (like tortellini) you can make it taste ok.

  2. heat some olive oil and butter in a large pan, add sliced onions(thinly so your son will maybe slip one by accident!) and chopped garlic, cook until onions are clear, add chopped collards stir all together and cook until ready. or put a lid on it and cook/steam it too. good luck!